Don't Panic!

Don't Panic (1)
The news that the oil refinery at Grangemouth was being closed down prior to impending industrial action brought reassuring words from the experts - the closedown will have no immediate adverse effects, there are sufficient stocks, no need to panic buy, etc, etc. In other words - don't panic.
But what is the public reaction when told 'don't panic'? Exactly! I saw it at first hand this morning down at Morrison's (above) - as I was filling up (but not panicking!). The queues got longer and longer over the course of the day - not that I sat there watching them all day, you understand, but I did pass there again this evening and there was no let-up. I heard tonight that both sides in the dispute (which is over pensions) have agreed to conciliation so it appears that a solution may be in sight - panic over?

Don't Panic (2)
The Bank of England has baled out British banks to the tune of £50 billion of taxpayers money, with the promise that there's plenty more where that came from (I paraphrase of course). Not bad going for the banks, that - you make billions in profits through decidedly iffy dealings in the sub-prime market, enjoy years of making big bucks and seeing your shareholders alright, safe in the knowledge that when things get tough - as they inevitably must when the bubble bursts - you can always run to daddy. It seems it's a no lose situation for the Banks and their big shareholders - unlike the poor bank customers faced with ever increasing costs of borrowing, despite interest rates coming down! Do you remember the very effective Saatchi and Saatchi advertising campaign for the Tories - 'Labour isn't working', it said, with huge posters depicting long queues of people filing into unemployment offices? Strikes me that naked, greedy Capitalism isn't working too well these days either.

Don't Panic (3)
Pundits would have you believe that the Scottish Premier League title has been blown wide open again following Celtic's victory over Rangers in the latest Old Firm derby. I think that's wishful thinking by the broadcast and print media, desperate to keep viewing figures and newspaper sales up. Yes, Rangers struggled against St Johnstone in the cup yesterday, and they face a punishing schedule of games, but really, can you see them throwing away enough points to hand the title to Celtic? Who, other than Celtic, is likely to take any points off them? And listening to Celtic's stuttering performance against Aberdeen, it's my guess that they are far more likely to drop crucial points in the run-in. No, Walter Smith should have no fears - the League title is in the bag. Don't panic!
As for third place, it's still wide open. Once again Dundee United and Hibs couldn't be separated on Sunday - there is so little between so many of the teams that make up the SPL. I still think the league is too small, and I think it would be far better to have a league of 16 teams who play each other only twice. Familiarity breeds contempt - and very predictable football - and playing teams three or four times over the course of a season doesn't make for good entertainment. Granted, the post-split top six games should all have some significance this season but it's an unfair, cobbled together hotch-potch of a system and it should be scrapped.

Chewing the fat
The bombshell of the weekend was the news that John Prescott suffered for years with the eating disorder bulimia. The announcement must have struck joy into the hearts of comedians and satirists across the land, but I for one will resist the temptation to get a cheap laugh out of what is a very nasty condition. John Prescott is a very easy target, though, and many will be surprised to hear that the condition was brought on by 'stress caused by overwork'. Hmmmm ...
His autobiography is being serialised in a Sunday newspaper prior to being published this month, so no doubt 'Prezza', 'Two Jags', call him what you will - is hoping that sales will keep him in the style to which he has grown accustomed over recent years.

The Last Laugh in London?
Meanwhile, quote of the week comes not from Prescott but from another much-ridiculed buffoon - Boris Johnson. The London Mayoral elections are getting very interesting and a close result seems inevitable - it's almost certain to hinge on second choice votes. Boris has been 'bigging up' - excuse the language, but he started it - his empathy with the city's substantial minority ethnic population. "I'm down with the ethnics!", he declared on a radio show. "You can't out-ethnic me!"
However amusing Boris' blusterings can be, Ken Livingstone has been right to take Johnson's challenge seriously from the outset. This time round Ken is again the official Labour Party candidate and he could well suffer as a result of being seen as an establishment candidate at a time when the party is just not popular. Johnson, while a Tory through and through, is seen as a personality - an eccentric one undoubtedly, but a character unlikely to be bound by the strictures of party ties. He's not as daft as he comes across, our Boris - he could have Londoners chortling all the way to the ballot box. I wonder if they will still be laughing when the results are announced ...