The end of an era?

Not so Fair(er) Scotland
There have been more newsworthy events over the last week, both locally and internationally, but one news item that will have a devastating effect on North Edinburgh didn't feature in the press last week, and I'll start with that.
The Fairer Scotland Fund allocation for North Edinburgh was finally passed down from on high - i.e. The Edinburgh Partnership - this week, and the figures make grim reading.
To those people who are not intimately concerned with funding for voluntary organisations and community groups - and there are many - I apologise in advance for this posting, but for those who will be directly affected, here are the facts and figures.
Because of the delays in implementing Fairer Scotland, all projects who received Community Regeneration Funding were awarded six months funding in April.
In North Edinburgh, those 19 projects received a total of £882, 590 - from North Edinburgh Childcare's £210,000 down to North Edinburgh Trust's European Fund £2500.
The total allocation for the final six months of this financial year is under £600,000 (Forth £530,629 and Inverleith £68,008), so you don't have to be a financial wizard to see that there are serious problems ahead.
That's a shortfall of almost £300,000 and a cut of that scale is bound to mean that - however this cut is implemented - we will see long-established projects forced to cut back on a massive scale and some will undoubtedly have to close altogether.
In listing the projects in the firing line it strikes me that so many of them have been at the forefront of tackling poverty and social exclusion in this area for so many years - and each contributing in it's own way to improving the quality of life of some of Edinburgh's most disadvantaged citizens.
Those projects are: North Edinburgh Childcare, North Edinburgh Trust (formerly The Pilton Partnership), Pilton Youth & Children's Project, Granton Information Centre, Muirhouse Youth Development Group, Black Community Development Project, Muirhouse Millennium Centre, Granton Youth Centre, North Edinburgh News, Women Supporting Women, Drylaw Neighbourhood Centre, North West Carers Centre, Pilton Equalities Project, North Edinburgh Activist Training, North Edinburgh Business Incubator, North Edinburgh Arts Centre, Community Voices, Stepping Stones and NET's European Fund.
Over the next few weeks Forth and Inverleith Neighbourhood Partnership's will have to take some almost impossible decisions - using unnecessarily tight criteria (also imposed from 'above', and I'll be one of the community representatives who will be addressing this as the Inverleith rep working with Forth's community council nominees. I've also got meetings lined up early next week to see how we can best organise a community response to an awful situation, and a further one with local projects through EVOC on Thursday. Lots of people to talk to, and not an awful lot of time to try to salvage something from what is an impending catastrophe.
I'll keep you posted.

Zimbabwe
However real and urgent our own local difficulties are, they pale into insignificance when you witness the dreadful events in Africa. Mugabe and his henchmen have literally got away with murder while the world looks on , seemingly impotent. The hope was clearly that Zimbabwe's neighbour's - particularly South Africa - would bring pressure to bear on Mugabe, but Mbeke seems unable or unwilling to take action so the onus falls on the rest of the world to take firm action to resolve the worsening situation for the Zimbabwean people.
Stricter sanctions would be a start - withdrawal of embassies and the cutting of all diplomatic ties, and a total ban on trading with the corrupt regime. Yes, that would also have an effect on Zimbabwe's poor, but really, how much worse can it get for these poor people anyway? I don't think that even this would be enough, however - the world is not dealing with a reasonable man here. It's awful to contemplate but military action may be necessary to rid the world of this most odious of dictators, a man who's crimes of humanity against his own people must surely rival those of Saddam Hussein? That action would, of course, have to be sanctioned and led by the United Nations and must include African troops so as to ensure that Mugabe could not claim that this was a 'colonialist invasion'.
The longer the world's leaders prevaricate, the worse the situation becomes for the starving people of Zimbabwe. There is a moral obligation to act - and a refusal to shake the dictator's hand at an international conference really does not strike me as firm enough action. Jaw jaw is always better than war-war, but there's no point in trying to talk when the other party refuses to listen.

Wendy's Woes
Wendy goes, but not far enough. After ten torrid months Wendy Alexander finally 'stepped down' yesterday, still refusing to accept her wrongdoing, unrepentant right to the end. I have spent far too many words on Wendy on these blogs already, and I don't plan to rehash all the reasons I believe she should have departed the political scene a long time ago.
All I will add is that, while she has 'stepped down' she has only resigned sa leader of the Labour group of MSPs - she remains a member of the Scottish Parliament, as do her 'campaign team' partners in crime (yes, they did break the law although no action was subsequently taken by the authorities). Whitton, Baillie and, in particular, Charlie Gordon still have questions to answer about how they managed to drag the Labour Party into such turmoil. If the Electoral Commission is seen as gutless, perhaps it falls upon Labour's own internal structures - the NEC for example - to hold a full, open and honest investigation into what transpired. Only then can Labour really move forward and begin to resemble an effective Opposition.
It looks like there will at least be an election this time, as opposed to a coronation. That's got to be good - bring it on, as someone once said.
Sixty years ago this week Labour's greatest achievement - our National Health Service - came into being. It's architect Nye Bevan proudly proclaimed that Britain had now become 'the moral authority in the world'. You can only wonder what the great man would make of his current successors.
On a lighter note, I received an email from the local Labour Party saying that tonight's fundraising Film Night has been cancelled 'following recent events'.
My own guess is that a poor take-up of a chance to see 'The Edukators' in Drylaw Neighbourhood Centre (only £50 a table for six) has rather more to do with the Final of Euro 2008 than Wendy's inevitable demise! Finger on the pulse, or what?

Sporting Chance
And on Euro 2008, Spain and Germany contest the final tonight and it could be a classic. However it's more likely to be a very cagey affair with the undoubted talents of both teams being stifled and cancelled out by their opponents. I hope I'm wrong, but I see this going all the way to penalties. I hope not for Knutt's sake (that sounds like swearing, but it's not.) She backed Spain before the start on the tournament - I need them to win if I am to have even the remotest chance of getting any money back!
I won't mention the Czech Republic again - the pain is still too raw and will take some time to heal - but at least my Fantasy Football team has climbed to mid-table respectability. I may even be able to celebrate a top-six finish (fair enough there are only twelve teams in the competition) so a small celebration may ensue.
When the tennis courts in the Meadows are packed you always know it's Wimbledon, and it's our very own Andy Murray who carries the (usually totally unrealistic) hopes of the nation on his fairly narrow shoulders. No more Henman Hill, now it's Murray Mound apparently.
Now I was never a bit fan of Tiger Tim, and I can't say I've taken young Andy to my heart either. Both come across as slightly petulant, taciturn - spoilt brats, basically. Both have the irritating habit of gritting their teeth and aggressively punching the air when they win a point. Shouldn't bother me, but it does.
Watching Andy's mother Judy in the stands I can see where he gets it from, so the chances are he won't grow out of it.
The big difference between Come on Tim! and Andy, though, is that Murray does have a realistic chance of actually winning the tournament one day. He is still young, maturing and growing physically and mentally stronger. He's certainly single-minded and determined enough to finally succeed, if he can avoid all of those injuries he seems to be prone to. Broken fingernails, split ends, acne - perhaps it's all just part of growing up! He won't win it this year, although on current rankings he should reach the quarter-finals and perhaps even the Semi's. There are better and stronger players at the head of the rankings, though, and I don't think he's good enough yet. I do think, though, that his time will come.

The Week Ahead
I'm looking forward to old comrade Ken Harrold's belated 65th birthday bash this evening and I'll get the chance to see the Euro final too.
Other than that, I'm off on Monday and Tuesday (I build up quite a lot of lieu time through working in the evenings) to prepare for the important meetings that lie ahead. I've got to be clear about what we should be aiming for, and I'm very conscious of the number of different hats I wear at different meetings. Having said that, the one consistent theme throughout will be how best to preserve the essential services provided by the voluntary and community sector in North Edinburgh. Just how we can achieve that is another matter, but I do have some ideas and I hope to have put forward some solutions by my next post.

This week's picture is the sun going down over Edinburgh. Not prophetic, I hope

Talking to ourselves?

Empty chairs and empty tables
I've attended numerous meetings over the course of the week - AGMs at Pilton Youth & Children Project, Edinburgh Community Representatives Network, Royston Wardieburn Community Council and the Edinburgh Association of Community Councils this morning and the latest Forth Neighbourhood Partnership on Tuesday (yes, I do lead a fascinating life).
It strikes me just how few people attended some of those meetings, particularly given their importance. Projects and community organisations face cuts and possible closure with the bungled introduction of the new Fairer Scotland Fund, yet when community representatives have the opportunity to discuss these very issues there's only a handful of people there.
At Forth Neighbourhood Partnership members of the public were heavily outnumbered by the people who have to attend - the officials and local politicians. At the ECRN meeting - which covers those areas likely to be hit hardest by changes to funding to tackle poverty and deprivation like North Edinburgh, Craignmillar and Wester Hailes - just eight people attended. Yes, eight.
Even this morning's EACC event, which was addressed by Angela Leitch (a major player in both Fairer Scotland Fund and Community Planning, attracted less than 30 people. You might think that thirty is not a bad turn-out, but Edinburgh has 41 community councils and significant swathes of the city were unrepresented.
Big issues, small turnouts - why is this? Apathy, 'meeting-ed out' (a hell of a lot is expected of community representatives these days), unsuitable days, times or venues or perhaps a feeling that all these meetings are just not making any difference. Have people just given up, or has Mrs Thatcher's dictum that 'there is no such thing as community' finally come to pass.
Whatever is happening, it's not a healthy sign and I fear that our communities - particularly the poorer ones - are going to look a lot different in a few years time, and not for the better either ...

On a more positive note I attended a Volunteers Fair down in West Pilton recently and there were dozens of people there who carry out voluntary work in projects across the North Edinburgh community - so maybe it's just that people prefer to give their time to something positive, where they can see the difference they are making, other than spend hours and hours at meetings then leave thinking: now, what did that achieve?

Burns in the firing line
Congratulations to Andrew Burns, who is apparently the sole nominee to lead the Labour Group - and the Opposition - on the city council. I first came into contact with Andrew almost twenty years ago - God, I'm getting old - when he was an enthusiastic advocate of Charter 88, the group that campaigns for democratic and constitutional change. That group has had some success in changing the way we are governed, but I'm still not convinced that proportional representation is necessarily a better or even a fairer system. We now have multi-member wards with a choice of councillors, MPs, MSPs (with list MSPs who are only there to literally make up the numbers) and Euro MPs, but do you think that we are better-governed today than we were ten years ago, or that communities genuinely have more influence in the decision-making process that affects them?
Better governed or over-governed, I wish Andrew well in his new position. Since they came to power last May the new administration has made some serious errors of judgement - yes, perhaps inexperience is one excuse but you can't use that forever - and it is the job of the opposition to expose and highlight mistakes, offer alternatives and call the Administration to account. Effective opposition is important and Andrew has already shown that he can be very effective in scrutinising the Administration's performance.
Isn't it a wee bit ironic that it was the switch to PR that gave us the current set-up?

Euro 2008
I have decided to boycott Czech beer following my team's dismal dismissal at the hands of Turkey last Sunday. Two goals up with ten minutes remaining, things were looking so good, too ... anyway the Turks repeated their smash and grab tactics when they mugged Croatia last night, so at least I know it wasn't personal. It is, as they say, a funny old game ...
I have watched in horror as my Fantasy Football team has inexorably slid down Brian's wee Mini-League table. Once sitting respectably in mid-division, my bunch of under-achievers and misfits is now hovering perilously just above the bottom (that position is currently held by my niece Laura).
I desperately need results to go my way, otherwise my credibility is in tatters. Football is a man's game, for goodness sake - yet I could end up finishing rock bottom and getting beat by a bloomin' girlie! The shame!

Highlights
I've missed most of the football this week due to evening commitments (yes, meetings)but there have been a couple of highlights.
The ECRN meeting finished with a social element and I ran a quiz. As I said earlier it was hardly packed out, but the quiz was good fun - more so because I haven't done one for a while. I miss the old Botanics quiz night - I'm sure both of the participants do too!
Jenni Marrow's daughter Charley called into the office to go over an obituary I am writing for next month's NEN, and we talked at great length about what a really remarkable woman Jenni was. Charley brought in some family snaps and what might have been quite a sad and sombre visit was nothing of the sort - quite a lot of laughs, actually. The death of a loved one is not an easy thing to talk about, but it was really nice to have the opportunity to take time and reflect on a fascinating life. It's good to talk!
We also talked about how long it will be before Charley becomes simply Charley, and not 'Jenni Marrow's daughter Charley', and, that bloody subject again - meetings! (and the constant battle of how to get the work/life balance right).
We've had a number of contributions for the Jenni article and I hope it does her justice.
It seems strange that talking about someone who is no longer with us can be a one of the week's highlights, but there you go - it was. It's been that sort of week.

Next Week
The July NEN goes to print on Thursday and I've still got a lot of writing to do. I've got Drylaw Telford Community Council's monthly meeting on Wednesday - all well organised in good time this month - and we should also hear our 'Fairer Scotland Fund' fate next week, so more meetings will undoubtedly follow. Meetings, eh? What would life be like without meetings!

The picture was taken at my last one man show at Broughton High School. It wasn't supposed to be a one man show, but I was the only one there - Boom! Boom!

See you next week.

Revelations and Resignations

It really shouldn't have done, but it came as something as a surprise to learn this week that some people actually read these musings. Since I embarked on this wee adventure, I've always seen it as (a) an opportunity to keep in touch with friends and family overseas (Knutt in New Zealand, Brian currently in Canada), in a bit more depth than I can manage in an email, and (b) as a useful exercise in taking the time to look at what's happened over the last week and to look ahead to the next - an hour of reflection, if you like, on domestic and international events.
For readers who don't know me, it offers the best cure to insomnia I can think of!
Anyway, I will curtail a natural reticence to bare my soul to the outside world (!)and bash on regardless ...

Politics
Two important but very different resignations this week. Ewan Aitken resigned as leader of the Labour Group on the city council, and shadow Home Secretary David Davies decided to resign from his safe Westminster seat to force a bye-election.
I first got to know Ewan when I was the surprise (to some, anyway) selection to contest the Leith Links seat for Labour in the 2003 local elections - Ewan was contesting the neighbouring safe Restalrig ward.
I didn't know Edinburgh East very well, or many of the activists, but that campaign was the most satisfying I have ever fought. Battling against a backdrop of the Iraq War and the spiralling cost of the Parliament building, East put together a tremendously effective wee team of volunteers and it was a real pleasure to work with them. Ewan and I went out together on a couple of occasions and he struck me very much as a 'people person', fun to be with and hugely popular in his own neck of the woods (reflected in his majority being Labour's biggest in Edinburgh). Susan Deacon was the MSP then, a joy to work with and a real loss when she decided to turn her back on Holyrood for academic life.
I've no doubt that Ewan thought long and hard before making his decision last weekend, and I'm also sure he will be a great success in his new post with the Church of Scotland - I wish him well. He is staying on as a councillor, and I would imagine that his experience, knowledge and counsel will be appreciated by his successor - whoever he or she may be.
And who will follow in Ewan's footsteps? Elizabeth Maginnis, who fought a spirited (and almost victorious) campaign to become leader when Donald Anderson stood down to fight for a parliamentary seat, has ruled herself out which leaves three names in the frame - Andrew Burns, Lesley Hinds and Ian Murray.
Lesley has had the disadvantage of being away on holiday when the announcement was made,giving the others a head start,but my guess is that she will do her sums and, if she has a better than even chance of winning, she will go for it.
Andrew Burns is the early front-runner within the obvious potential candidates, and noticeably he has not ruled himself out of the race. It's thought that a third contender Ian Murray will not run, due to heavy business commitments. He is young enough for his chance to come again, and others have pointed out that taking on the role of Labour leader on the city council just now is a 'poisoned chalice' - we are still three years away from the next council elections (possibly four if some have their way).
My opinion? Internal contests like this don't always focus on who the best person for the job might be, but often boil down to which members of your group dislike you less than they do the other candidates! For the ambitious career councillors, there's also the 'what can I get out of this?' factor, and who can offer what to whom.
For outsiders it's perhaps two bald men fighting over a comb, but whoever takes the job on will have quite a challenge on his or her hands to get the city party in a strong position to fight the next election. Also, although the Labour Group's not as big as it used to be it will take a person with considerable people skills to keep this pretty diverse group happy and united. Edinburgh needs a strong opposition, though, so may the best person win!

Meanwhile down in Westminster David Davies shocked everyone (although, intriguingly not the Lib-Dem leadership apparently) when he decided to force a bye-election over the 42 day detention issue. Man of principle or narcissistic nut-case? Opinion is divided on this one, although David Davies has been in the game long enough to realise that the Bill would have been thrown back by the House of Lords anyway.
Whatever his reasons, we will shortly have a surreal bye-election which none of the main parties want, with madcap candidates emerging from the woodwork to enjoy their five minutes of fame- including perhaps a Rupert Murdoch-financed 'Sun' candidate in the odious Kelvin McKenzie. You couldn't make this up.
As to the issue itself, the Government did indeed scrape through with the help of their new friends from across the Irish Sea. It's not too long ago that Ulster Unionists were best known for their opposition to almost everything, but it seems that it's changed days indeed. The Government insists that no deals were done, but experienced commentators will be keeping an eagle eye on future government investment in Northern Ireland. There's even speculation about about a seat in the House of Lords for old 'Dr. No' himself, Ian Paisley? Who said 'Never, never, never'? Well, maybe ..!

Perhaps the most far-reaching political of the week, however, was the decision of the Irish voters to dump the Lisbon Treaty. That's the trouble with democracy - you give people the vote and they sometimes don't vote the way you want them to! (A vote which the British people were denied, of course, despite promises to the contrary in Labour's manifesto). Brussels bureaucrats have conceded that this is a 'setback', but unbelievably some of them want to ignore the vote and press on with ratification anyway! There's just no stopping this gravy train juggernaut!

Sport

The second batch of group games have been completed now and it's all very interesting. Of the 'big guns', Holland look good (or so I'm told, because I've missed a lot of games due to other commitments), Spain and Portugal are through and Germany will be in the quarter-final mix. We're going to lose France or Italy, though - I'm sure Scotland would have put up a better showing than these 'giants'!
My own selection, the mighty Czech Republic, must overcome Turkey in their last group game to progress further and my investment is hanging by a thread. My dreams of early retirement are fading into the distance (not that I could retire on £100, I suppose) just as quickly as the Czech dreams of European glory.
I do miss the English, though - it's just not the same without them!

Luvvie Stuff

I was supposed to start shooting a film this weekend - another low budget epic, of course - but filming was cancelled because my co-star Gordon had other commitments. It's been rescheduled for August, which suits me better - there are a lot of lines to learn, and due to other more pressing matters I am far from 'off page'.
Saw a film I made with Pilton Video over a year ago at Leith's Short Film Festival in The Basement (good bar, incidentally) last Sunday night. It's the first time I'd seen the edited film on the big screen, and given that it is set at Christmas time and the temperatures outside were distinctly summery it was a slightly surreal experience. Good, if bleak, movie though.
Also on the 'luvvie' theme, went to see 'Evita' at The Playhouse on Friday night. Very strong performances, particularly in the second half of the show. Bravo!

The Garden

Managed to tick off one of my 'to do's' this weekend when I finally got my garden hedge cut (delayed because I had cut trhough the hedge trimmer's cable during a previous attempt). It actually took less time than I thought it would, so other than standing back and admiring my (admittedly slightly uneven) handiwork I sat out in the garden and started compiling a quiz for next week's ECRN annual general meeting. Lovely morning, and very quiet save for the faraway hum of lawnmowers and a strange 'chook - chook -chook' noise.
This is the call of the 'Doo men'; the pigeon fanciers. There are quite a few of them in Drylaw and any time of the day or evening you will hear them at their loft windows calling their birds home. Putting out your washing before going to work in the morning: 'chook chook chook'. Home at lunchtime to check on your sick cat (got a bit of a 'doing' from a new tomcat in town recently and still recovering from falling from the undisputed king spot): 'chook chook chook'. Taking the washing in after work, he's still there: 'chook chook chook', with a couple of whistles being thrown in for good measure now, and then cutting the grass as dusk falls, yes, you've guessed it ...
Now the homing pigeon is a wondrous creature and I don't pretend to understand how their uncanny instincts work, but come on - all day and evening, 'chook chook chook' calling your bird home? If there's that much encouragement needed, why let it out in the first place? I love animals, but I think I'd be a trainspotter before I became a pigeon-fancier!
looking out of my window I can see that perhaps I have been rather over-enthusiastic with my trusty hedge cutter. As well as being uneven, the poor hedge is now bald as a coot in some patches. The 'Doo Man' is still at his post, though ...

Health and Fitness

The regime continues, although the scales show no sign of a downward movement. I do feel better, though - and I have started to enjoy my fifteen minute 'power-walk' to work (not so much power-walk really, more a purposeful meander) in the mornings. I honestly believe that I am now down to two chins!

Next Week

Lots of evening meetings next week (so more Euro games to be missed sadly)of which three in particular could prove to be both informative and important.
The future of Fairer Scotland Funding is taking up an awful lot of my time just now, and the issue will be up for discussion at Forth Neighbourhood Partnership (Tuesday evening at Telford College) and the Edinburgh Community Representatives Network (ECRN) annual general meeting on Wednesday evening in the southside. On Saturday at the City Chambers the Edinburgh Association of Community Councils will be holding their AGM as well, and I intend to raise Fairer Scotland there too.
With three other local AGMs to cover for the NEN next week the only free evening I'm I'm going to have is Friday, so the old social life takes second place next week. The garden, too, will be left in peace so the hedge will at least have some time to recover it's former glory. Chook chook chook ...

Still awake? See you next week ... The picture, incidentally, was a glorious sunset over Muirhouse the other evening. That's not a returning pigeon in the picture, by the way, it's definitely a plane!

When you're smilin' ...

I met this cheery soul in the High Street after attending a Youth Literacy (better spell-check this!) seminar in the old Regional Chambers on Friday. Mind you it was a pretty sultry afternoon so I suppose he didn't have an awful lot to smile about ...

Unlike Mr Obama, of course, who finally secured the Democratic Party nomination. Mrs Clinton, of whom I have spoken often on this blog, characteristically refused to accept reality until the bitter - for her, very bitter- end, and even her 'endorsement' of her rival just didn't ring quite true. I do hope that Mr Obama has the good sense to resist calls to make Hillary his running mate in a so-called 'dream ticket'. I think for Obama that dream would quickly become a nightmare, with Team Clinton - yep, they come as a package - plotting away along the corridor. Don't fall for it, Barack.

It's been a fairly quiet week, punctuated by a couple of events which involved the partaking of alcohol.
Finishes early on Monday to put the finishing touches to my Euro2008 Fantasy Football team. As ever I overspent and had to make some drastic changes which resulted in my finished effort bearing no resemblance to my original star-studded (and too expensive) line-up. With the Championships kicking off on Saturday I also finally decided on who to back (you've got to have a bet, haven't you?) and - for reasons that I can't now quite recall - my money has been 'invested' on the Czech Republic and the very tempting odds of 20 -1. Granted, they were fairly p*sh in their opener against p*ss poor Switzerland in their opening game last night but at least they did win. I am counting the winnings already ...!

On Wednesday evening I covered an event at The Filmhouse - Telford's Drama and Media students were showcasing some of their degree work and excellent some of it was too. Not quite top-class - more top brass - was the prices they were charging in the theatre's bar. Over three quid for a pint of bog standard Tennent's Lager - the very same pint I can buy in the Unionist Club for ONE POUND less! How can this be, I ask myself? Anyway, it didn't stop me drinking five or six pints of the stuff at The Filmhouse, dodgy differential or not.

More of the amber nectar on Friday following the Lothian Chambers event. Being in town it was an inevitable descent down the High Street to Jinglin' Geordie's, my favourite bar in all the world (okay, I don't get out much). All of the old faces were in - it's becoming a bit like 'The Last of the Summer Wine' - and afternoon quickly moved into early evening as the drink flowed. I've always felt that the Jingle's has a timeless quality (an excuse I often used in the past when I was late home) and that's still true today. I emerged blinking into the sunlight some hours later and was still coherent enough to call the bingo (uninvited) up at the Unionist Club. What a pro! (Or what an *rse, depending on your point of view).



This unusually heavy intake of lager (and the inevitable late night snacks that follow) are sure to have done some damage to my new 'health regime'. At least I've lost a few pounds on the Czechs!

Next week, the government faces a challenge on the 42 day detention question. The word is that Home Secretary Jacqui Smith has managed to talk round a number of waverers, but even so the vote could be uncomfortably close for Gordon Brown.
Personally I think the majority of the country is with the government on this issue and I think a number of MPs would do well to listen to the views of their constituents on this one. They should also be aware that it won't be civil liberties issues that will decide the next election. No, that'll be the economy.

I ask myself: with lager at over £3 a pint, would I now be better off drinking barrels of oil ??!!

See you next week

A Question of Balance

I continue to have a real problem in trying to get the work-life-community balance right (or less wrong, at least). Granted, there was more to juggle this week than normal,but even so ...

I spent a few hours in the office last Sunday, finishing stories and making sure all of my own articles were ready for inclusion as we went to print on Thursday. Then I went out to deliver more of the community council newsletters to make sure that this 'TO DO' item was ticked off before Wednesday night's AGM.

Monday and Tuesday were more of the same, finished delivering the newsletters after work and worked on the text of a speech to Thursday's Full Council meeting.

Wednesday - meeting with Claire Watt and North Edinburgh Trust to discuss Thursday's deputation followed by a meeting with Ian Stewart and Thomas re Wednesday night's community council AGM. Back briefly to NEN office and then away to Jenni's funeral. Then it was out again to cover a nice wee job at Craigroyston Primary at six, picked up a CC member at 6:50 and up to Drylaw Neighbourhood Centre just in time for the meeting at 7pm. Home, knackered, around 10pm.

Thursday - up early to finalise speech after yesterday's discussions, then into office for last minute read-over the 'finished' June NEN at 8:30. Marked up a couple of alterations then headed into town to meet the other members of our delegation at 9:30. Lengthy wait to be heard, but seemed to get our message across and finally got away from the City Chambers around 1pm. Back to office briefly before heading out to cover another local story (Forthview P7s hosting a Fairtrade Cafe) then ... home, and promptly fell asleep.

Friday - After all the 'busy, busy, busy' of the early part of the week it couldn't have been quieter. Scarcely a phone call. I left early, taking some of the lieu time that has been steadily building up again, and did some reading.
The evening was spent at a Thai restaurant in Leith with Caroline and Knutt, who has just completed her first week in a new job at a recruitment agency down there. And Saturday - a scorcher! Did some of the household chores that have been badly neglected this week and spent some time out in the garden, enjoying the birdsong before going out in the afternoon to get some shopping with Caroline. Followed by a leisurely evening watching the final of 'Britain's Got Talent' - the wee dug wiz robbed!

So that was the week that was. Hardly time to draw breath from Sunday - Thursday, then peace and quiet Friday and Saturday. Quite a week, but I still find myself feeling stressed out when I do have some of that essential 'me' time. When I'm sitting reading a book or listening to music, or enjoying some sun in the garden, I still feel guilty; there a sense that I should be 'doing something'. I don't know how to overcome this feeling, but it's probably not healthy.

At Jenni's funeral - a really nice celebration of her life, incidentally - I was struck by how little I actually knew her. Of course I met Jenni hundreds of times at community meetings and the like, but there was another side to her that most people probably never knew existed - her love of nature and trips out to the sea or the country. The human side, the whole person not just the person you see at meetings. I felt I knew her a lot more after the service, and I wish - too late - that it was a part of her life I had known more about when she was alive. It also made me think about the ridiculous amount of time community activists spend at meetings - and I'm as guilty as most. As Caroline has pointed out (usually when I'm stressed out, chasing my tail trying to get things done): "Do you think Jenni's last thoughts were: 'oh, I wish I could have attended more meetings'?" ...

Other News

Despite reservations I finally relented and ordered the season tickets yesterday - £800+ well spent! It seems Knutt will be here for the foreseeable future and Brian is coming home from Canada in November so it makes sense, I say through gritted teeth ...
And the weight loss/get fit regime is having some success. I've cut out a lot of the crap I snack on and have started walking to work when I can - although regular meals are almost impossible for now. The result? When I weighed myself on Friday (two weeks in) I think I have lost four pounds. It's hard to tell because I can't see the scales for my belly!