A Question of Balance

I continue to have a real problem in trying to get the work-life-community balance right (or less wrong, at least). Granted, there was more to juggle this week than normal,but even so ...

I spent a few hours in the office last Sunday, finishing stories and making sure all of my own articles were ready for inclusion as we went to print on Thursday. Then I went out to deliver more of the community council newsletters to make sure that this 'TO DO' item was ticked off before Wednesday night's AGM.

Monday and Tuesday were more of the same, finished delivering the newsletters after work and worked on the text of a speech to Thursday's Full Council meeting.

Wednesday - meeting with Claire Watt and North Edinburgh Trust to discuss Thursday's deputation followed by a meeting with Ian Stewart and Thomas re Wednesday night's community council AGM. Back briefly to NEN office and then away to Jenni's funeral. Then it was out again to cover a nice wee job at Craigroyston Primary at six, picked up a CC member at 6:50 and up to Drylaw Neighbourhood Centre just in time for the meeting at 7pm. Home, knackered, around 10pm.

Thursday - up early to finalise speech after yesterday's discussions, then into office for last minute read-over the 'finished' June NEN at 8:30. Marked up a couple of alterations then headed into town to meet the other members of our delegation at 9:30. Lengthy wait to be heard, but seemed to get our message across and finally got away from the City Chambers around 1pm. Back to office briefly before heading out to cover another local story (Forthview P7s hosting a Fairtrade Cafe) then ... home, and promptly fell asleep.

Friday - After all the 'busy, busy, busy' of the early part of the week it couldn't have been quieter. Scarcely a phone call. I left early, taking some of the lieu time that has been steadily building up again, and did some reading.
The evening was spent at a Thai restaurant in Leith with Caroline and Knutt, who has just completed her first week in a new job at a recruitment agency down there. And Saturday - a scorcher! Did some of the household chores that have been badly neglected this week and spent some time out in the garden, enjoying the birdsong before going out in the afternoon to get some shopping with Caroline. Followed by a leisurely evening watching the final of 'Britain's Got Talent' - the wee dug wiz robbed!

So that was the week that was. Hardly time to draw breath from Sunday - Thursday, then peace and quiet Friday and Saturday. Quite a week, but I still find myself feeling stressed out when I do have some of that essential 'me' time. When I'm sitting reading a book or listening to music, or enjoying some sun in the garden, I still feel guilty; there a sense that I should be 'doing something'. I don't know how to overcome this feeling, but it's probably not healthy.

At Jenni's funeral - a really nice celebration of her life, incidentally - I was struck by how little I actually knew her. Of course I met Jenni hundreds of times at community meetings and the like, but there was another side to her that most people probably never knew existed - her love of nature and trips out to the sea or the country. The human side, the whole person not just the person you see at meetings. I felt I knew her a lot more after the service, and I wish - too late - that it was a part of her life I had known more about when she was alive. It also made me think about the ridiculous amount of time community activists spend at meetings - and I'm as guilty as most. As Caroline has pointed out (usually when I'm stressed out, chasing my tail trying to get things done): "Do you think Jenni's last thoughts were: 'oh, I wish I could have attended more meetings'?" ...

Other News

Despite reservations I finally relented and ordered the season tickets yesterday - £800+ well spent! It seems Knutt will be here for the foreseeable future and Brian is coming home from Canada in November so it makes sense, I say through gritted teeth ...
And the weight loss/get fit regime is having some success. I've cut out a lot of the crap I snack on and have started walking to work when I can - although regular meals are almost impossible for now. The result? When I weighed myself on Friday (two weeks in) I think I have lost four pounds. It's hard to tell because I can't see the scales for my belly!