A really amazing story ... honest!

There's a fox loose aboot this hoose!
I know I call this blog Dave's Absolutely Amazing Adventures, but in my most honest moments even I must accept that it isn't always truly amazing. Not even exciting. Sometimes downright dull, even.
But this week, dear readers, I bring you a genuine exclusive - a tale of such excitement that it will have you on the edge of your seats.
Yesterday morning (during an unusual break in the endless rain) I nipped downstairs to hang out some washing. On coming back I heard my cat snarling away, so I assumed that another cat had nipped in to steal his food.
When I got to the bottom of the stairs, however, I got a bit of a shock. Standing at the top of the stairs was a young fox, which quickly ran into the house. I managed to get upstairs to shut most of the room doors and trapped the fox in my living room, but was then faced with a slight dilemma (i.e. what the f*ck do I do now?)
I edged closer to the animal - which was obviously feeling cornered and getting a bit distressed - though mindful that getting bitten was probably not a good idea. There was a brief stand-off - fox and me staring into each others eyes at a range of about six feet - before he bolted past me to the open door, and freedom.
No damage done, and Reynard lives to fight another day. I've mentioned before that I love watching the foxes at play in the garden, especially the young cubs, but this was just a wee bit too close to home!
So there you are, a real adventure - and like the true professional snapper that I am I even got a picture to prove it!
I can't promise quite as much excitement next week - could you handle it? - but who knows, look forward next week to The Strange Episode of the Wildebeest in the Kitchen ... !

The Norseman Cometh

A new dawn beckons ...
Behold! A mighty Norseman has swept down from the icy wastes, plundering everything in his unstoppable path. This heroic figure will inspire and transform the parochial world of Scottish politics forever. His name? Tavish Scott.
Well, maybe not. Young Tavish was the predictable choice of the Scottish Lib Dems - all 4000-odd of them who could be bothered to vote. What difference will the bold Tavish make? Not a significant one, one would imagine. Outside the Holyrood bubble life goes on as normal and the elevation of Tavish has hardly captured the imagination. Will it change your life? Will you remember where you were when Tavish was elected leader of the Scottish Lib Dems? No, thought not. Is it even a new golden dawn for the Lib Dems in Scotland? Nah, don't think so.
The Lib Dem leadership election hardly excited the media much either, with so much of genuine interest going on elsewhere. The world's response to Russian aggression, Alistair Darling's refreshingly honest and candid Guardian interview on the state of the economy, Obama's coronation swiftly followed by the Republican's surprise choice of little-known Alaskan governor Sarah Palin as McCain's running mate - perhaps not too surprising that the media's attentions were elsewhere.
However in a spirit of generosity let me wish Tavish well - he's probably a damn fine decent chap in line with all the damn fine decent chaps who have gone before. But just perhaps the new leader will be able to make it clear at last what the point of the Lib-Dems is - just what are the Lib-Dems actually for?.

And the rain keeps 'teaming' down!

We're all going on a summer holiday ...
Well, we've been, actually. I took a week's break last week - the plan was to top up the tan! Not to put too fine a point on it, the weather was slightly disappointing (see picture - just about sums it up). The opportunities for sunbathing were somewhat curtailed, and while my relatives were test-driving a luxury yacht in the Mediterranean (should that be test sail?)I instead set about dealing with all those chores you tend to put off - writing minutes, updating websites, shopping, ironing, etc. etc. while trying to get out to do things between cloudbursts (I'm not kidding about that yacht, by the way - I'll return to it in future postings).
All that mundane stuff can be very time-consuming but I got it all up to date by the end of the week and we managed a few outings too. I also did something I haven't done for probably ten years at least - I went for a swim!
It wasn't inspiration from watching the heroic feats in the Beijing pool that drove me to Ainslie Park - I have no plans to compete in the next Olympics unless they make 'Quizzes' an Olympic event. No, my daughter Knutt - a fitness fanatic - has been urging me to take more (i.e. any) exercise for months now and I could put it off no longer. Despite a fairly strict diet - devoid of the beloved Golden Wonder cheese and onion - my weight has stubbornly refused to drop below 15 stones and Gail reckons that the only way the weight will come down is by regular exercise.
i actually quite enjoy swimming but I've always managed to find 'good' reasons for not going - usually to do with not enough time. The real reason though was that I was afraid that my gargantuan size might frighten some of the more sensitive bathers.
Anyway, I threw caution to the winds last week and did it - while that smartass American guy managed eight gold medals I managed eight lengths (albeit with ever lengthening breaks in between!)
Many years ago we would be at Warrender and Infirmary Street Baths at least once or twice every week, and when the Commonwealth Pool opened (just round the corner from where we lived)my wee gang almost lived in the place - we went there most days.
It's like a lifetime ago now, but in those distant times I could swim a length of the pool under water. A lifetime, and many thousands of Embassy Regal too.
Now one half-hour swim every ten years or so can't really be classed as 'regular' yet but I've broken my duck now and I didn't send any swimmers scurrying to safety fearing that a blue whale had been released into the pool. I will return.

Labour Pains
Just when I thought my mind was made up (remember that nice letter I got from my new mate Iain Gray?) don't I receive letters from Andy Kerr and Cathy Jamieson? Iain was my one and only mate but now I've found that I've got not one but three bosom buddies! Then there was a phone call from Team Grey too .. Iain, Cathy or Andy - sometimes there's just too much choice!

Beijing's over - now the real show begins!
One side effect of the crap weather was that I watched far more of the Olympic Games than I had planned - it sort of sucks you in. I am now an expert on every sport under the sun (or, more often, the rain).
There's no denying that the British athletes were very impressive - you can't argue with a haul of 47 medals, 19 of which were gold. Finishing fourth in the medal table behind giants like China, USA and Russia is no mean achievement.
There were far fewer drug offences than I had expected, and while there were some outrageous judging decisions in favour of the host nation you've got to say that the event was a success (put to one side the opening ceremony which featured one wee girl miming because the real singer just didn't look 'perfect' enough, and the use of computer generated images to enhance the already-spectacular effects of the fireworks when the opening ceremony was beamed round the world).
There were many highlights, but my own favourite moment was when a Cuban TaeKwon Do player took exception to a judge's decision. No 'noble art' or strict discipline for this guy - he launched himself at the judge and landed a very impressive flying kick on the unfortunate official. Top marks for technical merit, but of course the rash chap has since been banned for life. Not that I would condone behaviour of this sort in any way, but I do wonder how many sportsmen who have been on the receiving end of a dodgy refereeing decision must have envied that bloke?
The minus side of the Games for me was the infuriating use of that odious phrase 'Team GB' by our over-partisan legion of commentators, and their constant references to London 2012. The Beijing games were hardly closed when the London party got into full swing and I fear we're going to hear of little else for the next four years. I'm already heartily sick of the sight of Sebastian - sorry, Lord - Coe. If you thought 1966 was bad, you ain't seen nuthin' yet!

Team Pickering takes to the ocean waves
It was Kevin's birthday last Friday, and it's customary for the birthday boy/girl to choose where we go to celebrate the event. Kevin opted for a Jazz cruise on the Maid of the Forth - very different from sitting in a restaurant or spending the evening in a boozer getting p*ssed! It was very pleasant - the trad jazz band were old hands and good fun - and while the barbecued chicken in a polystyrene tray was hardly Balmoral standards it was okay. The rain even stayed off!
Aye, you can keep your luxury yacht - the old Maid of the Forth will do for me!

The Week Ahead
Team NEN will be busy this week as we are going to print a day early (Wednesday). Team Drylaw Telford Community Council meets on Wednesday night with a very full agenda - top of which is the ongoing Fairer Scotland Fund saga. This one will run and run - a bit like Paula Radcliffe, really.

When second is nowhere

Super Sunday too?
Well if not super, surely very satisfactory? Not if you saw BBC's legion of pundits in Beijing (I'm sure they're breeding - there seem to be more and more of them every day)this morning. More golds to celebrate, but DISASTER - our four women rowers brought shame upon the nation by finishing only second! Silver simply isn't good enough for 'Team GB' and there were enough tears to start another regatta. Meanwhile in the studio there was the sense of stunned bereavement that is only normally evident when a great national figure has died or there has been a great natural disaster. Let's get this into perspective - our women finished second best in the world in the rowing fours; that's not really too bad, is it? Yet with targets to be hit and everything geared towards London 2012 it's all about winning. One commentator, probably unwittingly, summed it up this morning: "There's only one colour that matters - and that's the gold". As one who used to live by the 'it's not the winning, it's the taking part' creed when trying to encourage my own kids to enjoy sport, it made me feel quite queasy.
Judging by the BBC's coverage - where the gold medal tally is everything - is the Olympics now really only about winning? It certainly looks like London 2012 will be no place for losers. I can heardly wait ...

O ye of little faith
Yes, I got it wrong about Hibs yesterday. A goal inside fifty seconds did help, and what an enjoyable game it was (and still would have been even if HIbs had lost their lead, as lokked likely late on. There were a lot of positives on show at Easter Road and both sides played open, attackign football. To use another fottball cliche (this blog will be liberally sprinkled with them over the coming months) it was a great advery for Scottish football.
I was impressed by Falkirk's football, and their striker Higdon in particular. A big brutal battering-ram in the mould of the old-fashioned centre-forward, he shoved, pushed and battled away all game and was rewarded with two goals. A cross between Viduka and Hartson without the touch. But two goals, a couple of near chances, more than a few warnings from the ref about his 'over enthusiasm' - yes, I'm sure he'll be delighted with his day's work, if not the result.
However the mighty Hibs have started their inexorable rise up the SPL table - let the others quake!

Oh no! Not another one!
The death of the sitting Labour MP in Glenrothes has given Gordon Brown another headache he could have done without. In normal times Glenrothes would be solidly Labour but as we have seen over recent months these are not normal times, and the bookies have already installed the SNP as long odds-on favourites.
The dilemma for Brown is timing - whether to call the by-election before or after Labour's Party Conference. Go early, don't give the SNP any time to organise, take the defeat on the chin if/when it comes and then use the conference speech to relaunch the Party? Or use the conference speech to galvanize what's left of the party faithful, show strong leadership and issue a call to arms to members to come to the aid of the Party? What to do, what to do?
The added complication of Henry McLeish's 'constructive' suggestions - and his being mooted as a possible candidate by some (surely mischievious elements) - won't be doing Gordon's blood pressure much good, and Milliband's manoueverings and lukewarm support haven't been exactly helpful either.
Internationally, there's the Caucasas problem still festering away and all the doestic economic indicators are dire. Oh Gordon, what to do indeed?

Picture: Your humble scribe offers Gordon Brown some words of wisdom. It was a long time ago.

Super Saturday?

Fingers Crossed
While 'Team GB' (ghastly title) are sweeping all before them on the BBC's self-styled 'Super Saturday' in Beijing, my sporting attentions are turned a bit closer to home - it's off to Easter Road shortly for my first home game of the season.
In years gone by the visit of Falkirk would not have caused too many palpitations, but we are looking at a decidedly underwhelming Hibs team at the moment and expectations are not high. By all accounts Hibs didn't play too badly at Kilmarnock last week, but Falkirk dominated Rangers for long periods in their game and they could be quite a useful side. If Hibs can score early (scoring at all would be a bonus) I think we can go on and win, but if we fall behind I'm not convinced the current side has what it takes - guile, invention, fighting spirit - to come back.
All will be revealed at 4:45, but I'm predicting a draw.
Incidentally I finished an impressive 9000+th in last week's BBC Scotland Predictor game so there is room for improvement. To use a couple of favourite football cliches, though, it is 'early doors' so I am not 'sick as a parrot' just yet.

The picture above is the Hibs support in happier times - singing their way to victory in the League Cup final in 2007. It all seems like a very long time ago!

Flooding on The Fringe

Washout
If July's weather was bad, hasn't August been awful? My cousin and her family came up from Wales to take in the Festival last week, and they couldn't have picked a finer few days to see Edinburgh at it's most drookit!
They were also fortunate enough to have tickets for the Tattoo on Wednesday night - yup, the night of the tropical storms - so I don't think they'll forget their visit in a hurry. Hopefully the trench foot will clear up soon ...
I was hoping to catch some of Fringe Sunday today but the Meadows will be like Paschendaele after last night's deluge so I'm giving it a miss. I didn't go to see Pilton Video's show at the Lawnmarket last night for the same reason - maybe I'm getting too soft in my old age.
As I write the sun is splitting the sky so no doubt the snowstorms will be here by teatime ...

Other news. We picked up a Gold Medal in the Road Race today - damn fine show but 75km. on a bike looks like hard work. A taxi would surely have been cheaper?

There are potentially serious problems in the old USSR, with Russia taking an unhealthy interest in the goings-on in neighbouring Georgia. South Ossetia province (and, no, I hadn't heard of it either) could prove to be a serious flashpoint and once again we're seeing how impotent our international organisations can be in the face of naked aggression. It's a time for cool heads.

The footie season gets under way, Celtic win with a soft penalty. Hibs are disappointing, Rangers struggle but still win. Plus ca change!

And finally, a quick word on recent events in sunny old North Edinburgh. I have been heartened by the response I received to the letter I wrote to the NEN regarding some shenanigans surrounding a recent meeting. Callers and emailers have been very supportive, and I'm more convinced than ever that my community council did the right thing in calling that meeting. The misguided wreckers can't be allowed to win, and I'm pleased to hear that the vast majority of those who take an interest share that view. No doubt I'll be returning to this issue over the coming weeks.
I'm off to find my wellies before venturing out into the now lashing rain - as my old friend Captain Titus Oates so nobly said, 'I may be gone some time'!

Cheerio, chaps - tally ho!

And they're Off!

Leadership Elections
I received a mailing from the Iain Gray campaign this week. Yes, us ordinary hoi polloi are getting a say in who will lead the Labour group at Holyrood!
I am touched - moved even, that a candidate would take the time to write to a humble member seeking support. Because the letter starts 'Dear David' I am taking this as a sign that Iain Gray is now officially my mate so I will vote for my new buddy!
Seriously though, despite the fact that he has the support of Lord George Foulkes, I will vote for him. He has a background that indicates some experience of real life: as a teacher and as a worker with Oxfam. And as a fellow Hibs supporter, he also intimate knowledge of dealing with constant disappointment. Inspirational he is not - none of the candidates are - but I do think he has an air of honesty that Andy Kerr does not. I like Cathy Jamieson, but as Deputy Leader, she was too closely involved in the Alexander Affair for my liking. And while I think Cathy's politics are perhaps closest to my own, she may also be hindered by the 'always the bridesmaid' syndrome. An able Deputy Leader (what does the Deputy Leader actually do, other than stand in at FMQs from time to time?) does not necessarily make her leadership material.
I think Iain's enforced absence from Holyrood - he lost his Pentlands seat to David McLetchie in 2003 before returning last year - has probably done him no harm either. He returns of something of a fresh face (admittedly not a particularly photogenic one, but a fresh one nonetheless) and he will not be closely associated with what is increasingly seen as the 'same old same old' face of Labour in Scotland.
I reckon Iain may also be the beneficiary of an East - West split, with his opponents' supporters likely to cut each others' throats (metaphorically, of course) over in the Wild West.
Whoever wins will have a big task on his/her hands to rejuvenate the Labour Party in Scotland (yes, I know the victor is only head of the Holyrood group of MSPs, but as far as the media is concerned it's the 'Scottish Labour leader'). None of the three will particularly scare the SNP leadership, but I think Iain Gray's grasp of detail may serve to unsettle Mr Salmond a little. The SNP have had it all too easy so far and the country - any democratic country - needs an effective opposition.
Whoever wins I wish them the very best of luck. I've had one victory already as Cheeky Charlie Gordon could not amass the five nominations necessary to allow him to enter the leadership contest. Clearly my comrades have learned something from Donorgate, and that's as good a starting point as any.

We tend to forget that there is another ongoing leadership contest, of course - the media spotlight appears to have been switched off completely as far as the Lib Dem contest is concerned. Surprising, as the three names in the frame are political giants - well, in the world of the Lib Dems they are ... maybe. The clash of the titans here is between eternal outsider Mike Rumbles, Ross 'Captain Mainwaring' Finnie and some Viking bloke from up north who may be a distant relation of Noggin the Nog - yes, that's him, Tavish Scott. The Lib Dems are clearly spoilt for choice - and I can't help but wonder how different it may have been for them had they went into coalition with the SNP at the start of the Parliament. Would they be in the state of inertia that they are now? We'll never know, but I doubt that a new leader make any difference to their position in the polls.
I've no preference or real interest who will win this contest, but I do find Ross Finnie quite a comical figure. I reckon Scott will win - spin over substance - but the Lib Dems should maybe go for a more senior figure. What about Scott's wicked uncle, Nogbad the Bad? If he's not a card-carrying member get him signed up now - his dastardly cunning and evil plotting would make him more than a match for Wee Eck!

The Big Kick Off

It seems to have come round awfully soon, but it's back to SPL action today.
The referees have negotiated themselves a pretty decent pay rise (no wonder some of those 'fat cats' are looking slightly overweight!)
Regular readers will know that I'm an ace tipster so you'll be desperate to hear my predictions for the new season! Here goes:

RANGERS will win the SPL. Yes, I have been drinking, but I think their (entirely merited) early exit from Europe could prove to be a blessing in disguise as far as their League challenge is concerned - although they'll certainly miss the £8 - £10 million they've lost as a result of their defeat by Lithuanian giants Kaunas. If they can keep their squad together - some of the ambitious Europeans may try to get a move to enjoy European football - I reckon they can be a match for Celtic, who will be embarking on a European campaign and won't be able to concentrate solely on the League.
As ever, the title will hinge on who comes out best in the four Old Firm games. My mates think I'm mad, but I reckon Rangers will do it.
As to the annual question - who'll finish third? I'm going for Dundee United, despite their poor finish last season. Craig Levein is a talented manager and I think he'll get the best out of his squad. They have also signed Sandaza,a new striker who is apparently red hot. So it's United for me for third spot.
I expect both Falkirk and Motherwell to have decent seasons, Kilmarnock to finish around mid-table with Aberdeen, and St Mirren and Hamilton to struggle and fight it out to avoid the drop.
And the Edinburgh teams? If there is no interference and Hearts' new manager is allowed to get on with the job of picking the team, I could see a big improvement in Hearts this year. It is a big 'if', though, and you can't predict Hearts' fortunes with any confidence.
Hibs' pre-season has been pretty dire and the squad is not a patch on previous years. The club was fortunate to have a particularly good start last season, and they will need that again this term. I expect a bottom six finish (I expected that last season but was pleasantly surprised to find Hibs almost in the running for a European spot near the season's end). I just can't see that this time round, but if there is one ray of hope it is the signing of former Gretna player Fabian Yantorno. If this guy can stay injury free he will be a real asset to the club - I'm looking forward to seeing him get an extended run in the side.
So here's how I see things shaping up:

1. Rangers
2. Celtic
3. Dundee United
4. Motherwell
5. Falkirk
6. Hearts
7. Aberdeen
8. Kilmarnock
9. Hibs
10. Inverness CT
11. St Mirren
12. Hamilton

Here goes for another season of false hopes and misery!

Incidentally, my Jinglin Geordie Fantasy Football selection is:

Olejnik (Falkirk)
Whittaker (Rangers)
Considine (Aberdeen)
Craigan (Motherwell)
Hogg (Hibs)
Hughes (Motherwell)
Stewart (Hearts)
Murray (Hibs)
Vennegoor (Celtic)
Boyd (Rangers)
Lee Miller (Aberdeen)

What can possibly go wrong now? I'm counting my winnings already!

Farewell Old Friend

I know you shouldn't feel sentimental about a piece of metal, but ...
Tyson, my wee Citroen and companion of many years, has departed to the Great Scrappie in the Sky (well, William Waugh's in Granton actually). I am bereaved.
Logic dictated that Tyson would have to go - getting on in years, a bit battered and bruised, niggling wee problems like a slipping clutch and a minor oil leak, a driver's door that couldn't close properly after losing a battle with a fierce gust of wind - I could go on but you get the picture.
It would have cost more than the car was worth to get it through another MOT, then there's the Road Tax, insurance, the cost of running it; it made sense to get rid of it, and yet ...
I loved that wee car. It was gutsy, reliable and handled the challenge of getting young Knutt through her driving test without complaint - hundreds of reverse turns round corners, dozens of 'turn in the road using forward and reverse gears' (I would have said three point turns, but you clearly haven't seen Knutt's driving).
Yes, the lack of power steering turned me into Charles Atlas, but every time you turned the key in the ignition - Tyson started, first time. Nothing flash - you could leave Tyson anywhere safe in the knowledge that no self respecting car thief would nick him, or no vandal would attack him as he looked fully vandalised already! You couldn't leave him for long in more affluent areas, though - the sight of Tyson parked in the street for long would have houses prices plummeting!
Tyson was a real wee diesel workhorse who never let you down - and even on that final journey he started first time, game to the end ...
I drive a Picasso now, and though it's far more comfortable - palatial compared to the cramped wee Citroen - it's got nothing of Tyson's personality; it's just a car.
So goodbye then,old chum - it was an honour to know you.

Beijing Countdown

Just two days until 'the greatest show on earth', as the BBC is billing the Olympic Games. Mind you, the Beeb has got to big it up - they seem to have dozens of reporters there already - even Radio Scotland has two, for goodness sake - and the games haven't even started yet.
Many years ago I used to love watching the Olympics - the good old days when all the competitors were amateurs - well, supposedly - and they competed only for the simple glory of representing their country and taking on the best in the world. Ah, life was so innocent then! Sadly, the days of Alf Tupper winging his way to Olympic immortality in his battered plimsolls (on a drug-free diet of traditional fish and chips to boot!)are no more.
These days, it's all about big business - without the lure of massive new marketing and commercial opportunities do you think the IOC would even have considered staging the games in Beijing?
The Olympics should really be sponsored by the world's big drug companies, for the biggest competition in China will likely be the ongoing battle between the drug cheats and the authorities, who seem to be fighting a losing battle in trying to clamp down on the use of banned substances. My predictions (these come with a health warning given my recent run of form):
1. The first positive drug test will be a weightlifter.
2. Great Britain will finish 6th - 8th in the medal table. The British Olympic Association is deliberately talking down our likely medal tally, perhaps in the hope that, if we win more medals than they are predicting, the nation will take the BOA to it's collective bosom - as opposed to seeing the bloated organisation as a massive waste of money. As usual, most of our medals will come in equestrian events, rowing and cycling.
3. China will come very close to toppling the mighty USA at the top of the medal table. This will be because a substantial number of Chinese competitors will produce a suspiciously improved level of performance. This will have nothing to do with the use of banned (but undetected) substances, of course, but because they are competing in and for the glory of their beloved homeland.

Let battle commence, then, but I won't be watching. I am already in training for London 2012, by which time I hope that darts will be an Olympic event. Who needs anabolic steroids - a few pints and a nightly fish supper should get me in fine shape by then! The Corinthian spirit is alive and well - step forward, son of Tupper!

Stormy Waters

Turbulent Times
I had quite a lot to write about last week but my blogging time was seriously curtailed by a real 'stooshie' that's blown up in North Edinburgh. Unsurprisingly, it's over Fairer Scotland Funding.
Drylaw Telford Community Council asked North Edinburgh Trust to organise a joint meeting with our neighbouring CCs and projects likely to be affected by some sizeable FSF funding cuts - North Edinburgh has taken a serious blow in our allocation. So far, information emanating from the Neighbourhood Partnerships on what's happening with FSF has been poor to say the least, so we saw the meeting as an opportunity to let local communities know what is going on, what the effects of reduced funding could be, and to try to agree a joint way forward to get the best deal we can for the area.
All very well-intentioned, you might think; laudable, even. But clearly not everyone shares that view, and since the day following the 23 July meeting there's been a flurry of activity. Malicious gossip, misinformation and accusations of political skulduggery have been flying around - all anonymous, of course - and the end result is a lot of mistrust and genuine anger. The motives of some good people have been criticised and an awful lot of damage has been done by some misguided individuals who see political plots where none exist.
This story is ongoing and there's a lot more to come out. All I'd add for now is that you'd be amazed at the time it takes to deal with something like this - even when it's founded on nothing more than mischievous tittle-tattle.
So all of the stuff that's been happening out there in the wider world - fuel price increases and obscene profits, hapless Hibs, two leadership election campaigns in Scotland (no, I'm not including Gordon Brown here), the capture of Karadic with his Papa Smurf comedy beard disguise, the Fringe ticket farce - all of these issues will have to wait for the moment.
There are a number of important meetings taking place across the area this week - North Edinburgh Trust's board, the Fairer Scotland Funding Panel and Evoc's Forth Voluntary Sector Forum are all due to meet, and each in it's own way will determine how things are going to look in the not-too-distant future in North Edinburgh.
I'll keep you posted - confidentiality clauses permitting, of course.