Beijing Countdown

Just two days until 'the greatest show on earth', as the BBC is billing the Olympic Games. Mind you, the Beeb has got to big it up - they seem to have dozens of reporters there already - even Radio Scotland has two, for goodness sake - and the games haven't even started yet.
Many years ago I used to love watching the Olympics - the good old days when all the competitors were amateurs - well, supposedly - and they competed only for the simple glory of representing their country and taking on the best in the world. Ah, life was so innocent then! Sadly, the days of Alf Tupper winging his way to Olympic immortality in his battered plimsolls (on a drug-free diet of traditional fish and chips to boot!)are no more.
These days, it's all about big business - without the lure of massive new marketing and commercial opportunities do you think the IOC would even have considered staging the games in Beijing?
The Olympics should really be sponsored by the world's big drug companies, for the biggest competition in China will likely be the ongoing battle between the drug cheats and the authorities, who seem to be fighting a losing battle in trying to clamp down on the use of banned substances. My predictions (these come with a health warning given my recent run of form):
1. The first positive drug test will be a weightlifter.
2. Great Britain will finish 6th - 8th in the medal table. The British Olympic Association is deliberately talking down our likely medal tally, perhaps in the hope that, if we win more medals than they are predicting, the nation will take the BOA to it's collective bosom - as opposed to seeing the bloated organisation as a massive waste of money. As usual, most of our medals will come in equestrian events, rowing and cycling.
3. China will come very close to toppling the mighty USA at the top of the medal table. This will be because a substantial number of Chinese competitors will produce a suspiciously improved level of performance. This will have nothing to do with the use of banned (but undetected) substances, of course, but because they are competing in and for the glory of their beloved homeland.

Let battle commence, then, but I won't be watching. I am already in training for London 2012, by which time I hope that darts will be an Olympic event. Who needs anabolic steroids - a few pints and a nightly fish supper should get me in fine shape by then! The Corinthian spirit is alive and well - step forward, son of Tupper!