A very different Christmas

My mum passed away in the early hours of Monday morning, peacefully at the end. We were called to the hospital early on Friday morning, and after discussions with the surgeon and anaesthetist accepted that there was little more that could be done for Mum - she was too frail to withstand an operation, and that an operation - even in the slim chance it was successful - would not improve her quality of life. We accepted that it would be the last act of kindness we could give my Mum was to make her as comfortable and pain-free as possible, and to let her slip away.
And slip away she eventually did, mercifully having had the chance to see and talk to all of her family while she was still lucid.
Keeping busy by organising all those things that have to be organised helps to keep your mind off Mum's passing, and that will be the way of it until the funeral next week - who knows how we'll all cope after that.
Nothing compensates for the loss of such a dear loved one, but if there is a comfort it's in knowing that she spent her life doing what she loved most - caring for her family. And in knowing that her homely wisdom and inherent goodness has been passed on to her grandchildren who all thankfully had the time to get to know her so well. Some other families don't always get that chance and I'm grateful that our children did. She may be gone, but she lives on in all of us.

So Christmas was so very different this year - all of my planned shopping trips were obviously cancelled, but Knutt kindly became my personal shopper and bought presents while I was at the hospital. Life does go on, and Christmas Day was spent down at Cardrona with family and I don't feel guilty in saying it was a lot of fun.

New Year will be oh so different too. Next week we have the funeral and we'll say goodbye. Heartbroken? Yes, but also so grateful to have lived my life with a mother who cared so much for all of us.

Thanks, Mum, for everything.